Have you ever taken an inventory of your life? Without checking in on your own life and being aware of what is happening to you, you can’t make changes. This past weekend, I became aware of the issues I faced and decided that I needed to make changes. I don’t know what issues you are faced with, but today, I will discuss some common issues that we all face, including unforgiveness, guilt and fear, why we need to make changes to our lives, and how to go about making those changes.
Let me begin by discussing u-nforgiveness which is one of the most common issues facing families today. An example of how unforgiveness comes about is when a family member or friend may have said something about you or done something to you that left you unforgiving. You held on to that emotion for years refusing to let it go and it turned into bitterness, hatred, anger, loneliness, possibly jealousy and those emotions became a hedge between your friendship with your family member or friend. You felt prideful and refused to settle your differences with that individual, so you ignore the individual in family gatherings and the situation got worse. I remember times when I dealt with unforgiveness over little things.
A second major issue is feeling guilty. This guilt may have come about because you were unforgiving to someone, did not speak to that individual, and now, you feel guilty about your action. Guilt may have also come about because you felt that you were the cause of your parents’ divorce or separation and you carried that guilt for years and now it has affected your own relationships. My guilt started when my mother and father would ask me which of them, I loved more; I could not answer that question so I was put in a position for years to please others even when I would choke with displeasure. My most recent guilt feeling was attended a function because I didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings.
A third issue that most people experience is fear which I believe is the root cause of so many life- issues. Fear cripples so many people. I believe un-forgiveness, bitterness, anger, guilt procrastination are prolonged because of fear. People do not want to face others and apologize for having been unforgiving, bitter or guilty. They are afraid of how others will perceive them. People express fears in many ways, including fear of dying, fear of getting sick, fear of being in financial bondage, fear of flying and fear of driving over bridges. For years I suffered with fear of heights which led to fear of driving over bridges and highways.
Why do we need to make changes to the emotions that we face? The answer to this is clear–we must make changes if we want to move forward and realize success in our lives. People do not know or care if you or I suffer with unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, guilt or fears. We hurt ourselves, our families and friends, when we experience these emotions.
How do we go about making these changes? We must confront our emotions. Choose to love rather than be unforgiving to others. Colossians 3:13 13 states that we are to: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the LORD forgave you.” Be the first one to step up and make amends. The quality of your relationships will improve. Chose freedom rather than being locked up in the prison of your guilt.
One writer stated that.“The feelings of guilt takes away self-confidence, reduces self-esteem welcomes fear, confusion, disappointment, depression and other areas.” Face your fears and gain calmness and confidence. William Jennings Bryan stated that “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.