Making a decision regarding home-care or day-care is a life-long decision which will impact you and your child. I am writing this article from my own personal experiences and not from a psychological view point. I realize that every situation is different. A child may be raised by two parents or by one parent. A parent may be single, divorced, separated, and may be male or female and that a single parent could be a stay-at- home mother or father.
If you are not a working mother, you want to weigh this decision. If your husband brings in sufficient income you may consider staying at home where you have an opportunity to teach your child and provide emotional support for him or her especially in his or her first year. If you have small children in addition to a baby, you may want to carefully decide whether to send the older children to a daycare as they may feel left out. If you feel that you are overwhelmed and that you really need a break, you could consider teaming with other parents who are home-schooling their children and take turns. Many libraries have programs such as story times or movies for small children. This is a great opportunity for you to participate with your child or children.
If you are a working mother or need to find a job to supplement your husband’s income, there is not a question on your mind. You just have to work. For you, the questions you may consider are the number of hours you plan on working, the type of day-care you are interested in, the location of the day care, the cost per week, the number of children in the daycare and whether the daycare would be a place where your child would feel at home away from home. As a working mother, planning is essential particularly in regard to cooking, cleaning and laundry.
As a young mother with children I had to work. I cooked meats ahead of time and froze them. I also did laundry and cleaning more than once per week so I would not be overwhelmed. Carl and I had difficulty finding suitable places to send our children. My mother cared for our first child Anthony but we decided to send our second son Rese to day-care. We found our experience heart-wrenching. One day we were called to the daycare only to find out that a staff person had left Rese, who was probably six months at the time, unattended and he had fallen off a changing table. His eyes were swollen and black and blue. We spent several hours in the emergency ward of Children’s hospital, Boston. When Rese was seventeen, he was faced with a decision to have surgery on his jaw which he never did. We would never know if his fall had anything to do with his dental situation. I felt working full time was hectic so I later chose to teach three days per week at a community college. That gave me two days free time where I could schedule doctor’s appointments, visit my children either at daycare or at school, bring them cupcakes on their birthdays and keep up with their progress.
My sister Fidelis had a day-care. She provided support for parents and children by having an extended day program. The children felt at home and she taught them to read from an early age. When they turned five years old, she had a graduation ceremony for them and invited family members.
I am a grandmother now, and my son and daughter-in-law who worked full-time, decided that her parents would care for their two children. I believe they made a wise decision. The children enjoyed a safe and stable environment being around loving grandparents who taught them from an early age and gave them the support that they needed. Our grandson is now five years old and is presently attending pre-school.
Whatever your situation may be, carefully decide what you plan to do about your children. If you have to work, decide how many hours you need to work to supplement your husband’s income. Leave time for you to breathe. You may want to run errands or do some exercising, or catch up with your appointments. That time off is well worth it. You will be a happier parent. Your decision has a life-long impact on you and your children.
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